


Saying Goodbye

by SpencerRemyLvr



Series: Necromancer [2]
Category: Criminal Minds, X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe, Ghosts, Implied Childhood Sexual Abuse, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Necromancy, One Shot, Young Spencer, talk of abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-14
Updated: 2014-09-14
Packaged: 2018-02-17 09:53:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,325
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2305511
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpencerRemyLvr/pseuds/SpencerRemyLvr
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Continues right after "Little Moments"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Saying Goodbye

Spencer's three days spent in the hospital seemed to pass in a blur of visitors. Person after person after person came to see him and they all had questions for him. Police officers, social services, child psychologists, a child advocacy representative, a mutant rights representative…the list went on and on. None of this was counting the doctor who came through, or the nursing staff that always seemed to be around. So many of them seemed to have the same questions, too. He found himself wanting to shout at them multiple times. Couldn’t they just get together and talk with each other to get the answers to their questions? Why did they have to ask him over and over and make him continue to relive all of this for them? Derek did his best to try and shelter him, but there were some meetings that he just wasn’t allowed to be there for.

By lunch on the second day, Spencer stopped talking.

He’d answered all their questions for as long as he had simply because he knew it would help put Gil behind bars and because he really, really didn’t want to do anything to end up in the juvenile facility. Though he was still in shock at the idea of going home with Derek it was by far preferable to a facility and he didn’t want to do anything that might mess it up. But there was only so much that he was willing to take from these people. The past few years had taught Spencer a large amount of distrust for almost anyone in an official position and his natural inclination was to not talk to them anyways. He hadn’t spoken a word to the police the past few times they’d picked him up. He’d been going against that instinct now and actually answering them in his soft, low voice, but no more. No more.

Janice had been the one talking to him when he’d finally reached his limit. From experience with him, she recognized the flat expression he wore as he silently sat there and watched her and she knew she would get nothing more out of him. No matter what she asked, he said nothing.

The police officer with Janice spoke to him. He said nothing.

They left him and the doctor, Dr. Mann, came in. She spoke to him in that sweet voice of hers, with the calm reassuring tone and her friendly eyes. Spencer still said nothing.

He didn’t want to talk to anyone anymore. Not even his doctor, who had proved far nicer than any medical professional Spencer had ever spoken to before. He just sat in his hospital bed and met them all with the neutral look that he’d perfected and he said not a single word. He was done answering questions.

That was how he was when Derek returned to the hospital. He’d gone to the hotel earlier to take a shower and grab a quick bite to eat. Spencer had assured him that he’d be fine. The idea that Derek had been worried about leaving him alone was both amusing and touching. He’d survived living on the streets most of the time these past few years. A few hours alone in a hospital would be no big deal. Or so he’d thought. He hadn’t realized just how many people were going to come by and try and talk to him.

He didn’t know that Melinda had caught Derek out in the hall and had warned him about Spencer's silent treatment. When the agent came into his room, Spencer was prepared for some kind of lecture, at the very least. What he got wasn’t at all what he’d expected. Derek walked right up to his bed and he folded himself down into the same chair that he’d been using before. He seemed to make a point of settling in and getting comfortable. Then he leaned forward and rested his arms on his knees, his dark eyes coming up and pinning Spencer in place. “I hear you’ve had a bit of a rough morning.”

Spencer tipped his head just enough that his freshly washed hair slid down to screen his face. Through it he could carefully watch Derek’s face.

The man didn’t seem bothered by Spencer's hiding. He stayed as he was and continued speaking in that same firm, steady voice, never once wavering. “I know that this has been rough on you, Spencer. You’ve been through hell these past few years and now everyone wants you to talk to them about it. They ask questions you don’t want to answer and they press you probably further than they should. I’m sorry that I left you alone here to handle it all. As your current guardian, it’s my job to look out for you, and I failed at that this morning. I’m sorry.”

The apology astounded Spencer. He couldn’t believe it. Derek was apologizing to him? And for something that wasn’t even his fault!

But Derek wasn’t done yet. “You don’t need to worry about it anymore. Not while you’re here at the hospital.” He continued on. “While you’re here all you need to focus on is resting and getting better. That’s all anyone has the right to ask of you right now. I won’t lie; you’re going to have to talk about this at some point. One of the conditions the court put on you coming to stay with me is that you’re going to have to see someone once we get to DC. A professional. But not right now. Not here. For now, if you want to stay quiet, you go right ahead and stay quiet. I’ll make sure people understand. You don’t have to talk to anyone else here.”

And he didn’t. Spencer spoke not a word to anyone in that hospital until it came time to check out. Even then, it was only the manners that his mother had bred into him that had him finally breaking his silence. As he stood by the desk in the clean clothes Derek had brought him, he saw Dr. Mann come out. The woman saw him and she gave him a smile, pausing to put a chart down before winding her way through the crowd and over to them. “Check out time, I see.” She greeted him, her eyes warm and bright. “Well, I won’t keep you here, then. I just wanted to pop over and tell you to take care of yourself, Spencer, and I hope that things start to get better for you. I don’t want to see you back here, you hear me?” The last words were said with a playful wag of her finger.

He could see that she didn’t expect him to say anything. It surprised her completely when he softly said “Thank you for everything you did, ma’am.”

“You are so very welcome, young man.” She returned. Her smile was even brighter than before, if that were possible.

Spencer burrowed down into his sweater and he followed silently after Derek as they made their way out of the hospital. It felt strange to be leaving here and know that he wasn’t going back out to the streets. To know that he was going to sleep in a bed tonight. Things like that had long since become a luxury. One that he couldn’t let himself get used to.

One of the first things that Spencer had learned since leaving home was that nothing in life was certain. All it took was one single moment for everything to change. The better things were, the more likely they were to be taken away. This thing with Derek was a good thing, a very good thing, and so it made Spencer very cautious. He’d been naïve and trusting in his simple life with his mother. Then people had come and they’d ripped his world apart and he hadn’t known how to deal with it. There was no way he was going to make that mistake again. He’d take what Derek offered and he’d be grateful for it; but he wasn’t going to trust it to always be there. Spencer wasn’t going to be caught off guard this time. When they finally came along to rip this away from him, too, he would be prepared. He wouldn’t let it devastate him.

Derek didn’t say anything to him until they were loaded inside of his rental car. He let them get inside and waited until they were both buckled and the car was started before he spoke. “So what do you want to do, kid? It’s ten in the morning and we don’t have anywhere to be until noon, and then our flight out leaves at three. So what do you want to do between now and noon?”

Spencer knew what he wanted to do. One thing popped instantly to his mind. But he hesitated on voicing it. Maybe Derek didn’t remember agreeing to it. How would he know if he didn’t ask, though? For something this important Spencer could be brave enough to ask. “Can we go see my mother?”

“What do you think our noon appointment is?” Derek asked, slanting him a smile. “I called ahead and they told me it would be a good idea to come by for lunch. I even got permission to go ahead and pick something up and bring it as a sort of treat. She knows you’re coming, too, and they said that she’s having a good day. So we’ll pick up anything you want for you two to eat.”

Anything he wanted? “Can we get chicken fried lobster?”

“Chicken fried _lobster_? That’s an actual thing?”

“It is. They have it down at Binion’s. It’s one of my Mom’s favorites.”

“If you say so, kid.” Derek shrugged one shoulder and gave him an amused look. “Chicken fried lobster it is. You never answered my original question, though. What do you want to do until it’s time to go over there?”

One thing came to mind and it was something that Spencer had been thinking about ever since he’d found out that he was going to go stay with Derek. So far, Spencer had avoided telling anyone at all about his powers. He’d kept them quiet and to himself because he hadn’t wanted to see the fear in people’s eyes grow even more. He hadn’t wanted to give them more reason to be afraid of him or hate him. But he’d been turning the idea of telling Derek over and over in his head, carefully weighing the pros and cons of it, and he’d decided that Derek had been nothing but supportive and fair to him so far and he deserved to know something important like this about the kid that he was taking in. Spencer wasn’t going to just explain it to him, though. The best way was to _show_ him. At least, some of it.

“There’s someone I’d like you to meet.” He said softly, eyes drifting towards the man’s face. Behind the safety of his sunglasses he carefully monitored Derek’s expression. He saw the surprise there and then a tiny flash of pleasure at what he probably considered a sign of trust.

He could accomplish two goals with this, too. He directed Derek on where to drive, taking him to a part of town that wasn’t often visited. Then he had him drive up to the old, abandoned apartment building that sat at the end of the block. Derek looked around as he parked his car and he arched an eyebrow. “Is the car going to be here when we get back?” He asked dryly.

A hint of humor flashed through Spencer and his lips gave a slight twitch. “Here and intact.” He promised.

When he climbed out of the car, the first thing that Spencer did was glance around. It only took a second for him to spot the lookout that had been sent. In this part of town any car that came through was watched and strange cars were watched especially close. Spencer looked down towards the boy on the bike that was playing lookout and he let out a whistle—three sharp, high notes and then a lower one—and he lifted a hand to wave. The boy waved back before peddling off. All in all a very casual encounter. To most it would look like he’d simply whistled to get the kid’s attention and then just exchanged a wave. The average cop wouldn’t have realized that there was anything strange about it. They definitely wouldn’t have known that Spencer had just given the warning to the kid that the guy with him was a cop. The kid would ride out, he knew, and spread the word. Others that heard his whistle would spread it as well. Within minutes any sign of trouble would be well hidden and anyone with a worry about being found by cops would be on their way out.

He was reminded that Derek wasn’t a regular cop when he turned and saw the raised eyebrow and amused expression that the man was giving him. He cocked his head and flashed a grin. “Friendly neighborhood watch?”

Spencer pushed back his surprise and humor both and met Derek’s amused look with his own neutral expression. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Right.” Derek’s amusement grew a little more. He pushed off the car, shutting his door. “I grew up running around causing trouble on the streets of Chicago, kid. I’m not exactly ignorant here.”

Well that was an interesting little bit of information to file away. Spencer added it to the file of information he was already building on Derek Morgan. The man was proving to be more than he looked and each bit that Spencer found out painted the picture a little clearer. If he was going to be staying with the man, understanding him was important. Spencer cocked his head and looked at him for a moment while he added in this new little bit. Derek just stood there and looked back, waiting patiently. Finally, Spencer's lips curved into the shadow of a smile. He gestured with one hand for Derek to follow him. “This way, agent.”

He had to give Derek some credit. The man didn’t flinch at being led into the broken down, abandoned building. He followed Spencer inside and up the flights of stairs that were inside. Spencer jogged up the familiar stairs with ease. On the second floor from the top, the third floor up, he finally went out into the hallway and then down to the end. There he went to the room that he’d claimed at his own. It was on the very end, facing towards the city so that the lights would keep his room lit at night. It was never dark in Vegas. Pushing the door open, Spencer led the man inside. “Welcome to my humble abode, Agent Morgan. Come in, make yourself at home. I don’t have much in the way of seating but there’s a chair over there that only wobbles a little.”

“This is where you stay?” Derek was looking around the place and Spencer could see just how bothered the man was by what he saw. He was trying to cover it up but his eyes gave him away.

Spencer looked the place over with a critical eye and imagined what it must look like to someone who was used to better. It probably looked like a shithole. To Spencer, though, it had been home. Home for quite a while now. “It’s not that bad.” He walked over to the bedroom area where his few personal things were. Grabbing his rucksack off the floor, he started to gather what little things he had and put them inside. At the same time he raised his voice some so that Derek would still be able to hear him. “I’ve stayed in worse places. It’s dry here, at least, and more secure.”

“What about the shelters?”

“I told you before, I don’t stay at shelters. I’m not exactly welcome there” Spencer stuffed the last bit of clothes into his bag and zipped it shut. He shook his head at the pitiful amount that he had. So little things. It had taken not even two minutes to put it all into a bag. He slung the strap over his shoulder and went back out to the main room where Derek was still standing. His earlier smile was gone now and his voice returned to its usual soft tone now that they were in the same room again. “You think in terms of the average kid, agent, and you forget that I’m not. Shelters are run by the churches here. At one I wasn’t allowed through the door. At the other, I slipped and someone caught sight of my eyes. I assure you, having someone attempt to force an exorcism on you is not the most pleasant of experiences. I’ve avoided most religious establishments since then.” Best to let him understand right up front what he was going to have to deal with.

“Jesus.” Derek murmured.

Spencer shrugged a shoulder negligently. It was just a part of life. He’d dealt with trouble with his eyes his whole life. “It’s fine. I was more comfortable here, anyways. No one bothers me here. They’re all too afraid to come into the building?”

“Afraid?”

“They say the place is haunted.” That was a perfect way to lead the conversation the direction that he needed it to go. Spencer braced himself for whatever reaction Derek might give and he hoped that the man continued to show the same understanding that he’d showed so far. “They’re right. Well, in a sense. There are spirits here, though they don’t technically haunt this building. They just act that way sometimes. It’s their way of helping me.”

The first thing that he could see on Derek’s face was disbelief. “Helping you?”

No answer he gave to that would be good enough. Spencer knew that. Words weren’t going to do the job here. This was one of those moments where showing would be better than telling. He drew in a deep breath and centered himself. Then he reached out to that place that very few could see. Some called it the astral plane, he’d read. Others called it a spirit plane. Spencer just called it the ‘between’. This was the place that sat between this world and whatever else was out there. In here Spencer had power and he let it fill his voice as he called out to a very familiar friend. The answering call came quickly.

When he opened his eyes again, he found his friend there waiting for him with his usual bright smile. _“There you are._ ” Gabe said cheerfully. “ _You locked us all out completely while you were in the hospital. It was disconcerting. I’ve been worried about you._ ”

“I’m sorry, I had to.” Spencer answered him.

“ _I know_ ” Gabe said at the same time that Derek asked “Had to what?”

Gabe looked around and seemed to realize for the first time that they had company with them. “ _You brought a friend? Here?_ ”

“I did.” Spencer said to Gabe. Then he looked at Derek. “I know you’ve wondered about my powers, Agent Morgan. That’s what I’m here to show you.” With his renewed energy after days of good food and rest, it was easy for Spencer to reach out and give Gabe’s spirit the necessary energy to become visible to not just him, but to everyone. He knew it was working when he heard Derek give a soft gasp. The man actually took a full step back and one hand twitched almost reflexively towards his gun.

Gabe noticed the aborted move and he let out a bright peal of laughter. “ _What are you going to do, Mr. FBI? Shoot me? Not exactly the brightest of plans, that one._ ”

“Be nice.” Spencer scolded. He kept a careful eye on Derek, though. The man looked like he was still in shock, but he wasn’t running and he wasn’t shouting out anything about evil. “Agent? Are you okay?”

“I feel like I’m in the movies. All we’re missing is the creepy whisper.” Derek said.

Whatever he was talking about went right over Spencer's head. Gabe, however, let out another laugh. “ _I see dead people_.” He whispered in a mock creepy voice. Then he started to laugh once more. His laughter only grew at Spencer's confused look. “ _Oh, Spencer, how the hell is it that I get that reference but you don’t’? I wasn’t even alive when the movie was made, but I’ve seen others watch it. How do you not know it?_ ”

A little defensive, Spencer glared at him. “Do I look like I frequent the movies?”

“ _More like the library. Point taken, little lord._ ” Gabe smothered his laughter but his smile stayed in place. Not much wiped his smile away. He turned it back towards Derek and he hooked his hands in his pockets, looking almost like a kind in that moment as he rocked on his heels. “ _You’re not in the movies, SSA Derek Morgan. You’re in a world where mutants are capable of doing extraordinary things. Spencer’s showing you an amazing courtesy by letting you see what he can do. You should feel special; you’re the first._ ”

“The first?” Derek mulled that over for a second and then looked to Spencer. “You’ve never told anyone else what you can do?” He sounded surprised by that.

A little embarrassed, Spencer shrugged. “I didn’t need to give anyone any further reason to fear me. But I wanted you to understand why you might find me talking to myself on occasion. I won’t actually be talking to _myself_ , you just won’t be able to see who I’m talking to. Better to explain it now than have you try to commit me later on.”

“ _Very few spirits have the strength to become visible to others. That’s one of the things that Spencer can do. If it weren’t for him, you wouldn’t be able to see me right now._ ” Gabe explained. He drew himself up a little and stopped his rocking. His expression turned suddenly serious, a rare enough occurrence that it had Spencer paying more attention. But Gabe wasn’t speaking to him. His bright eyes stayed on Derek. What he had to say was for him and, judging by his body language, it was important to him. “ _While you can see me, there’s something I want to talk with you about._ ”

Derek looked cautious, yet he didn’t back down. Really, the man was doing a whole lot better than Spencer could’ve expected. Did nothing rattle him? Bad part of town, no big deal. Crappy, rundown apartments, he just walked in like it was normal. Ghost appearing out of thin air, a little startled but quickly casual. He had to be one of the most unflappable people that Spencer had ever met. “Go ahead.” Derek said to Gabe.

“ _I know that Spencer's coming to live with you…_ ” Gabe began.

His words were cut off by Spencer's surprised “What?” He took a step forward, towards his friend. “How on earth do you know that? I was shielded while I was in the hospital. There was no way you were there with him.”

With one finger Gabe reached out and gave a light tap over his nose. “ _One of these days you’ll remember just how much spirits know. There’s a reason people ask questions of the spirit world, my little lord._ ” He smirked at Spencer and then turned back to Derek. “ _As I was saying, I know he’s coming to live with you. Now I’m tied here, to my family bloodlines here, so I won’t be coming with him. That means I’m going to be trusting you to watch out for him for me. I’m trusting over his care to you, SSA Morgan. Mind that you care for him well._ ”

“I plan on it.” Derek said solemnly. His eyes flickered over to Spencer and then back to Gabe.

“ _Good_.” Abruptly, the seriousness washed off Gabe’s face. “ _He’s important, my little lord._ ”

“Little lord?”

“ _Necromancers are sometimes referred to as Lords of the Dead._ ”

They both saw Derek’s reaction to the word ‘necromancer’ and it had Gabe letting out a laugh. “ _What, did you think he was just someone that could see ghosts? He’s so much more than that. When he grows into his powers, what he’ll be capable of is going to be amazing. He’s going to be strong, Agent_.” Gabe turned to give Spencer a fond yet exasperated smile. “ _He hasn’t even begun to realize his strength yet. Fear holds him back_.” He turned once more to look at Derek. “ _But he will one day, and so will others. He’ll need all of you, then, if he’s going to make it through._ ”

“Make it through?” Spencer latched onto those words and the ominous sound behind them. There was something in the way that Gabe said them that told him the man was referring to something in particular. Something that was coming in his future; and it didn’t sound good.

Gabe turned back around so that he was facing Spencer once more, which also put his back mostly towards Derek. He didn’t answer Spencer's ambiguous question, nor did he comment any further on what it was he’d been saying. His expression went soft and he smiled down at Spencer with more open affection than Spencer ever got from anyone. One of Gabe’s hands came up and brushed some of his hair back from his head. The soft brush of the spirit’s hand was something that Spencer didn’t think he could ever describe to anyone else. To be touched by a spirit wasn’t like being touched by anything else he’d ever known and yet it always felt so normal and familiar to him and just as solid as a normal touch while at the same time he knew that hand could pass right through him with just a thought. “ _I’m going to miss you, little lord_.” Gabe said tenderly.

The realization hadn’t really hit until just now—he was going to be leaving behind the only friend he’d ever really known. The other spirits, he was friendly with them and they’d had lots of great conversations, and he owed them all so much, but he’d built a strong friendship with Gabe. Rarely did a day go by that they didn’t talk. Now, he was going to be leaving him behind and there was no telling when he was going to get to see him again. It hit Spencer like a fist and he stood there, wide eyed. He didn’t want to say goodbye.

Gabe looked back over his shoulder briefly and a second later there was the sound of footsteps. “I’ll go down and wait by the car.” Derek said. Then there was the sound of the door as he stepped out of the apartment and quietly shut the door behind him. The man was giving them the gift of privacy and Spencer appreciated more than Derek probably knew.

Now that they were alone in here, it was easier for Spencer to say the words sitting on his tongue. “I don’t want to leave you.”

“ _I know_.”

“You’re the only friend I have, Gabe. What am I going to do in DC? I’m…I’ll be alone.”

Gabe shook his head. “ _You’re not going to be alone, Spencer. How can you say that? You’re going to have Derek there with you._ ”

“I don’t know him.” Spencer pointed out. He wrapped his arms around himself, a defense against the hurt that felt like it was both inside and out.

“ _Give him a chance. He cares about you, Spencer, and I don’t mean like Gil cared or like others pretended to care. He cares about you like I care about you. If you let him, he can help you._ ”

“I don’t need help.” Even to Spencer the words sounded petulant.

A low laugh filled the room. “ _Everyone needs help. Give him a chance, Spencer._ ” Reaching out, Gabe did something that Spencer wouldn’t have allowed from anyone else but his mother. He folded Spencer in his arms and hugged him. “ _I’m gonna miss you, my little lord._ ”

Spencer leaned in close and hugged him back tightly, eyes squeezed shut to try and hide the tears that built there. “I’ll miss you too.” He whispered.

CXCX

When Spencer came out of the apartment building he was all calm composure once more. There was no sign of the emotional boy that had been upstairs. He walked out with his bag slung over his shoulder and went right to the car without a word. Derek took the hint and climbed into the car as well. They both stayed quiet as they buckled in and as Derek started the car and drove them away.

It took longer than he’d thought it would before Derek started asking questions. Spencer had known it was coming. After what he’d seen, how could he not have questions? The fact that he’d held out even a little was a surprise.

“So, a necromancer, huh?”

Spencer stayed staring ahead. “Yes.”

There was only a small pause, and then, “What exactly does that entail? I mean, I’ve heard the term, but always in movies and such. It’s always with guys who raise the dead and things like that.”

“Theoretically, necromancer abilities revolve around manipulating the dead, death, and the souls or life-force of others and themselves. Mostly, though, I don’t actively use my powers.”

“You don’t?” Derek sounded surprised.

“No. I don’t practice with them or go around trying to raise the dead. I don’t really _want_ to try and practice them.” He thought about conversations he’d had with spirits, things that they’d told him that he was supposedly capable of, and he battled back a shiver. In response, his voice cooled ever so slightly. “I do see spirits all the time, though. That’s a part of it that I have to consciously try to shut off. I see spirits everywhere. Some just want to talk; some just want help finding peace. Only twice have I found any actually _angry_ spirits. For the most part they all just want to find their rest.”

“And you help them with that?”

“I do. And before you ask, no, I don’t know where they go. I don’t know if there’s a Heaven or Hell or what’s beyond the ‘Between’ place. I just help them to go.” The conversation was starting to steer in a direction that Spencer really didn’t want it to go. He didn’t like talking about his powers in depth like this. They were personal, private. He’d already told Derek more than he’d planned on and he just wasn’t comfortable or ready to give him more. In a very obvious attempt to change the subject, he asked, “So how is this going to work? You travel for your job. Do I just stay at home while you’re gone?”

He was extremely grateful that Derek let him get away with changing the subject like that. The man had so far showed a pretty good skill at knowing when to back off on something. “No. In the eyes of the court, you’re not old enough to stay a few nights by yourself like that. When I go out on cases, you’ll go stay with a friend of mine, Penelope Garcia. She already told me she has no problems with it.”

Spencer rolled his eyes at the idea of having a babysitter. He’d been essentially living on his own for a while now. Yet the government didn’t find him old enough to stay in a house for a few nights alone. How ridiculous was that? He snuck a look over at Derek and saw the man looked a little amused, as if he, too, were having the same thoughts. A comfortable silence fell over the car.

CXCX

Twenty minutes later Spencer found himself standing in the hallway of Bennington Sanitarium with Derek at his side, trying to work up the courage to go into the common room where he’d been told his mother was. Derek held a bag in his hand that carried their lunch in it, a lunch they’d just picked up, and all they had to do now was go in there and Spencer would be able to have lunch with his mother. He’d be able to see her, to talk to her. A little over two years had gone by since the last time he’d done that. Would she still recognize him? He’d changed since then. He was different now. So much had happened with him, happened _to_ him. Would she be able to recognize her little boy in this scarred young man he’d turned into?

She’d always had an uncanny ability to know when something was wrong with him. What if she looked at him and she just, she _knew_? What if she knew the things he’d done, the things he’d let be done to him? What if she saw those things? Would it disgust her? Would it hurt her? Or, worse yet, _what if she didn’t recognize him_? The hospital had said she was doing rather well today, so he had hope that she wouldn’t mistake him for someone else, but he was older now and the years had changed him in so many little ways. After waiting so long to see her, he didn’t know if he could handle it if she didn’t recognize him.

“Go on, kid.” Derek murmured beside him.

A soft shudder ran down Spencer's too-thin frame. He drew in a deep breath, gave Derek a small nod, and then he was walking into the room.

Diana Reid was easy to spot. Spencer's eyes found her quickly. She was in the far corner sitting in a chair near the window, staring down at a notebook in her lap while writing. Everything in him clenched up tight at the sight of his mother. For the first time in just over two years, he was here; he was finally able to see his mother. He wanted nothing more than to run to her and climb right in her lap and let her hold him until this sick, painful feeling that always sat in his stomach was gone. To have her hold him and rock him and tell him that everything was going to be okay. He wanted to stay there with her until he felt clean and whole again. On shaking legs, he closed the last bit of distance between them, resisting the urge the whole way to just start running. “Mama.” He called out in a trembling voice.

Diana turned round at the sound of his voice. For a second her eyes looked around before finally locking on him. Then, to his joy, a smile lit up her face. “Spencer!” she cried happily. For one single instant, his heart soared. Then her next words sent it crashing down. “How was school, baby? Oh, look at you! Where’ve you been? I’ve been waiting for you. Did the teachers keep you after today?”

It took everything Spencer had not to let his heartache show in his eyes. She recognized him right now, he reminded himself. That was important. So what if she was wrong on their timeline? She recognized him. He’d learned to take what he could get with her. “No, Mom, I’m just running a little late today. I’m sorry.”

“Well get on over here already and give me a hug.” She told him as she set her notebook down on her lap and held her arms open. Spencer hurried forward and bent himself down eagerly to take the offered hug. He closed his eyes as he felt her arms wrap around him and he tried to absorb every bit of the all too brief contact. When they pulled apart, she ruffled his hair with one hand, smiling up at him. “Look at how shaggy you’re getting. Are you trying to make a statement with that mop?”

A soft little chuckle slipped free. “I like it long.”

“It hides that handsome face of yours, though.” She stroked a hand over his cheek, her expression warm and full of love. “My handsome son. What should we do today, honey?”

“Would you read me a story?” He asked hesitantly. It was something he’d thought of often in the long, lonely nights. When it was cold and things were hard, he’d helped himself get through it by remembering all those times that he’d cuddled up with her and listened to her read to him. Those memories had gotten him through some of his harder moments. They were the few times in his life where he’d actually felt like a little boy, innocent and protected, warm and loved, safe in the little world that his mother spun around him with each word she read.

Diana’s smile softened. “Of course I can, baby. Any requests?”

“Whatever you have on hand.”

“Well, let’s surprise us, then.”

CXCX

From the far side of the room, Derek discreetly watched the two as Spencer slid down to sit at the ground by Diana’s feet. He rested his head against her knee and his face was turned up towards her with a rapt expression as she started to read aloud from the book in her hand. When her free hand settled on her son’s head, Derek could actually _see_ some of Spencer's tension fade a little.

This was yet another side to the young teen. Another piece to the whole. Yet, and this saddened him to realize, even here he didn’t really see Spencer-the-kid. Oh, sure, there was love between them in this moment, mother to child and child to mother, but the body language was off. The whole dynamic between them seemed mixed up. It wasn’t anything overt. Derek doubted that most people would have even been able to see it. He did, though. He could see the careful way that Spencer moved and spoke with her. How the youth watched his mother carefully and how he seemed to be reading her subtle body cues and responding accordingly. Everything he did, everything he said, were all carefully chosen. Derek watched him and he realized that Spencer was doing everything he could to maximize the good moment he had with his mother and make sure that nothing he said or did would set off a bad moment. The skill with which he did it spoke of longtime practice.

Even with his mother, who the kid so obviously adored, he didn’t get to relax and be himself. Had Spencer ever been allowed to simply be a child? Had he ever lived anywhere or had any kind of life that hadn’t left him shouldering such heavy responsibility? From what he’d read in Spencer's files, his father had been absent often enough long before he’d finally left them. That meant that Spencer had probably been caring for his mother for quite some time. He’d cared for her after his father left, while still managing to attend school, and he’d done rather well at it up until a final report at the end. Then, well, things just went downhill from there for him. Where in there had there been a chance for Spencer-the-child? Where had the little boy had a chance to exist? Or had he always had to be this serious young man with the old, old eyes? That was what Derek saw when he looked at Spencer's eyes. He didn’t see the dark, didn’t see the demon that he imagined some did. He saw an aged look that no fourteen year old should have.

Well no more. Not if he had anything to say about it. Spencer was in his care now. Granted, it was only emergency custody at the moment, but there was really nowhere else for the boy to go, no one else that was willing to take him, and Derek was confident he could make this more permanent given time. While Spencer was in his care he was going to do everything he could to give him an opportunity to be a kid. The tricky part was going to be managing it without infringing on that strong independent streak the kid had. Spencer was too used to doing things on his own and being responsible for himself and he was far too used to trusting no one.

He remembered his conversation with the psychologist, Maggie, after she’d met with Spencer on his first day. Like his doctor, she’d been very straightforward and up front about what she had to say and what she felt needed to be done. Once the introductions were out of the way, she’d gotten right down to business. “I’d stress taking him into get his IQ tested as well as speak with him about what he wants to do, academically.” Was the very first thing she told Derek. “He made mention of ambitions to go to college. I would strongly encourage that, most especially now. It would give him a goal and a sense of normalcy in his life.”

“I’ve already got someone looking into the colleges back home and gathering up information so I can talk about it with him when we get there.” Derek had told her.

“Good. I think it’ll be perfect for him. He needs something like that in his life right now. I got the distinct impression that he’s much more comfortable dealing with facts, statistics and numbers than anything that might even hint at involving emotions.” She gave a wry quirk of her lips. “I’ve got to say I’ve never been quite so challenged in talking to someone. He’s very good at carefully wording his answers so that he manages to answer my questions without truly answering them. I imagine he’s had quite a bit of practice at that. He was skilled in avoiding topics he didn’t want to discuss.”

Derek had noticed that, too, at least to an extent. More often than not, if Spencer didn’t want to answer him, he simply didn’t say anything at all. He didn’t try to redirect the conversation or anything like that. He just went mute.

“You’re going to have to understand something about him, Agent Morgan.” The woman turned more serious suddenly and the tone to her words caught his full attention. “With the way Spencer's been bumped up through school, combined with the isolation he’s suffered through bullies and the confines of his mother’s illness, Spencer probably wasn’t like other kids even before he was removed from his home. Intelligence wise, he’s far above them. Emotionally, he’s years below them. Add in the recent traumas, as well as the further trauma I’m convinced he’s been through—even if he hasn’t admitted it yet—and it only makes it worse. Socially, emotionally, he’s _years_ below his age range. He’s going to need to see someone on a regular basis. I recommend that you start him in with someone as soon as possible. I’m also recommending you take him in and have his intelligence tested. Not only will that tell you and him where he stands, it’ll also provide more information for his psychologist to help him. It won’t be easy, Agent. Spencer has a long road ahead of him. It’s going to take a lot of therapy and a lot of patience.”

All of it had left Derek with the very clear impression that this wasn’t going to be easy. Healing this damaged young man was going to take a lot of effort form everyone. But Derek was already sure it was going to be very worth it. Spencer gripped at his heart in a way that he couldn’t quite explain. Whatever it took to help him, that was what Derek was going to do.

END


End file.
